07 July 2006

faulty romance

The problem with reading things like "Bridget Jones's Diary", or watching films infused with sugary sweet love stories, is that you get sucked into the pseudo-dramatic, hyper-romantic irony of the stories and inevitably you fall in love with a Mr. Darcy. This dilemma wouldn’t be too bad, being on Cloud 9 all the time, except that this can only happen in Fantasyland. In real life, wildly mysterious, charming men like Fitzwilliam Darcy simply do not exist. Minds get pumped full of these ideas that somewhere out in the cold and lonely world, their perfect match is doing perfect things to make their serendipitous meeting perfect. The victims of these far-fetched desires become oblivious to how tangible relationships work, getting wrapped up in their own personal soap operas, and ultimately rejecting potential suitors because they don’t say that cinematically faultless phrase that is so longed for. Expectations shoot sky-high, and when the realization comes that these charismatic, witty, and thoughtful men are only figments of the imagination, all of those overfed hopes come crashing down. This results in the typical “bitter-against-everything-remotely-romantic-and-thus-will-spoil-anything-that-smells-of-love” idea.

So really, at the end of the day, what is the point of sappy, sentimental stories? Maybe they give fleeting bliss, a short-lived state of elation, but eventually that feeling wears off and the longing needy side rears its head. Maybe it’s fun to get this romantic high now and then, but maybe it’s good to keep your feet on the ground once in awhile too. For me, I think I’ll keep that hope in the back of my mind, but instead of expecting some knight in shining armor to come in and sweep me off my feet, I’ll be happy to get along in life, living my own, real life to its fullest. And if my Mr. Perfect-For-Me comes waltzing in at some point, I’ll be happier if instead of shining armor, he’s got a less ostentatious set of threads on.

And now, I’ll happily continue to go from listening to the likes of “Eleanor Rigby”, “The Scientist”, and “Cry me a river”, and then “Brighter than Sunshine”, “The One I Love”, and “Return to Me”, and I’ll have no qualms about it.

Que serĂ¡, serĂ¡, right?


I.oana said...

It was really nice browsing through your blog and reading your recent posts. I love life and I like learning as much as possible about it, even from others' experience. I am an artist and I would truly appreciate it if you gave me your opinion about my creatsions. Thank you

tgags said...

Interesting, I always like to get a woman's perspective on relationships.

I was in a relationship with a girl who was my other half. It ended and now I am having the hardest time because I cannot find anyone who syncs with me quite as much.

There was this girl I was interested in at church. We went out a few times just as friends. During this time she gave me the book "Wild at Heart".. by John Eldredge. I ended up asking her out and to make a long story short, she declined. I thought we clicked real well (lots of laughs, things in common, etc.) so I was a bit surprised. Slightly embarrassed I receded from the friendship.
Some time later I started reading the book. I got about a quarter through it and threw it out. The theme was that women are looking for this 'knight on white horse' hero to 'rescue' them from the dregs of life. This was BS to me because I had a wonderful relationship were just having fun and a lot in common was enough. We were life-adventure partners, and it was grand. So I don't buy the whole 'knight in shining armor' ideology. It's fantasy. I mean come on, I could wait for an Angelina Jolie look alike to come wisk me away in her Dodge Viper. But just the basics are enough for me. And I know they are for some girls - as I mentioned, I had it and we rocked each other’s worlds despite what that book said.